Death Valley Days
Howdy Folks,
Sit down while I tell a real-life tale about our wanderin’s. My pardner and me heard-tell of a place whar it’s summer in the early spring, the mountain side looks like merengy pie topping, whar donkeys walk free in the streets, whar rocks race ‘round when nobody’s lookin’, whar thar’s a big rock striped like a caterpillar, and thar’s another rock as green as a corn stock in the spring; a place called Death Valley.
Well, we’s gotta go see that, we says, so we loads up our iron pack mules and heads t’ward Californy. Our common meetin’-up place is Pahrump, NV. We feeds the pack mules as much as they’ll take, jumps on ‘em and rides off into the desert headin’ fer the Californy border.
After a bit, we turns North on a dusty road called Furnace Creek Rd. Then we see a road called Gold Valley. That road name sounds right promisin’ so we turns West on it. This road goes on ‘n on ‘till come’s a spot named Smith Mountain View, whar thar’s a mountain named Smith fer to view. We ogled that mountain ‘til it started feeling uncomferble. We could tell we wore out our welcome so we left that mountain in our dust.
Next we came to a ridge. The valley below looked like a nightmare that feller, Dante, had written about. Thar’s some bad lookin’ water in that valley.
We left that hellish view tah head fer a place whar a Mister Zabriskie had a point. Boy howdy! The mountain side looked like merengy pie topping and not so much as a blade o’ grass anywhar! Good thang our iron pack mules don’t feed on grass.
Speakin’ of feed, our pack mules was needin’ nourishment. Blazin’ sands! Pack mule feed is dear in these parts! At least it war summer in spring time.
Full of high-dollar feed, we pointed our pack mules up Echo Canyon t’ward Inyo Mine.
It looked like that mine had played out a good while back.
The shortest way to our next stop was to keep a goin’ up Echo Canyon but we ran smack into a rock wall that them dad-burn iron pack mules was too stubborn to climb.
We figger’d we gotta turn ‘round. While riding out o’ Echo Canyon, we sees ‘The Eye of The Needle’. We totally missed it comin’ in.
Our stop fer the night is Beatty, NV whar thar’s wild donkeys in the streets. We check’s out the camp spot and thar’s rocks to sleep on and the donkey wanderin’ around to bother us. We figger’s to spring for the hotel that night. The only hotel with room left is named ‘6’. Don’t know why it’s named ‘6’ because it cost a lot more 'n 6 bits fer the room.
We talk’s with the desk clerk about a room. He says all his rooms left is smokin’. We say “Can we smell ‘fore we pay?” He says he don’t know how that’s done. Says he’s new and all he knows to do is give out keys after we pay. Says he was drivin’ his machine-powered covered wagon through town and busted three wagon wheels. He didn’t have money fer new wheels so figger’d to stay and work at the hotel ‘til he had money fer wheels. He said we could pay then he’d let us look-smell and if we didn’t like it we could come back and negotiate. Well this was the only room in town so we paid and went to see. Thar was bed sheets in a tussle, towels on the water closet floor, and a shirt and socks on the picture-box stand. Back we go.
“You sold us somebody else’s room!”
“No, housekeepin’ must not’ve finished. Go eat and I’ll have the room ready when you get back.”
“Know a good eatin’ place?”
“VFW”
Well we moseyed on down to the VFW whar some older fellers than us was sittin’ at the bar, but they accepted us poser vets and fed us a decent sandwich.
This here foto's of the mules at the VFW.
Back to the hotel. Nothin’ changed in the room but now we find fancy bath products in the shower and a tooth retainer in a cup by the sink. We's too tired to argue at the desk and set the bolt so the tooth and bathing goods owner doesn’t bust in later that night. We fall like logs into the dirty sheets.
Day 2:
We was up next mornin’ as the Donkey brayed, had some oatmeal, loaded the iron pack mules and started off in a random direction. We knowed 'twould be a tuff day for the pack mules with Lippincott Pass in the plan. Hadn’t gone but a block ‘fore we figgered out we knowed nothin’ bout whar we was goin’. Pardner heard tell ‘twas an ol’ railroad bed somewhar we was sposed to foller. We was tryin’ fer Rhyolite. We studied on the sun position and headed West fer the outskirts of town. Whatdaya know! We found the old RR bed. Soon we was at Rhyolite. This place is a right ‘n true ghost town, complete with ghosts!
Thar is 15 ghosts a livin' here. This here'n is Ghostrider.
Everbody knows a prospector gots to have him a penguin for luck.
Thar's a hitchin' post with random daybree stuck to a wall for the mules to consider when they's bored.
Thar's a rock garden tah try tah dizzy ya up.
Copper oraygammi.
Ghost apostles sculpted by ghost DeVinci!
Uuhhh?
A couch o' many colors.
'tweren't uncomferble
Don't want to say much about the embarsin' giant nikid block lady right out in the broad o' daylight bigger'n life.
This is somethin'
Well, I think I've done run outa art understandin'.
We left the ghosts fer Titus Canyon. This whar a bewtiful ride.
Some feller fooled some folks tah thinkin’ they’d get rich diggin’ up lead here. They’s all dead now.
Next up was ainchunt injun picture paintin’.
This here ainchunt symbol is from way back in 1962.
Next was the narr’est part of Titus Canyon.
We head North to Ubehebe hole in the ground. Thar's a big hole caused by mixin’ melted rock with a little water. It’s like a steam boiler blowin’ up underground and sprayin’ little black-gray rocks all over.
We turns back South on a long stretch o' washboard to Teakettle Junction whar folks hangs up teakettles they don’t want no more so’s somebody else what needs one can take it. They signs the Teakettle with an encurgin’ message for the new owner. We aint got no need nor no room so we just reads the messages and mosey on.
Continuin’ South is the rock racetrack whar rocks race each other when no one’s watchin’.
Been dreadin' it all day but now we face Lippincott Pass. Less than a mile in it starts gettin’ rocky. 4 miles in the middle was pure terror with big rocks and big drop-offs on the side.
Right quick we see the valley below...but lotsa rocks between here an' thar.
Thar's lots o' Lippincott in the movin' picture comin' later.
The pack mules didn’t fall over and we made it safe down Lippincott to the Saline Valley. It were a fer bit to get from Saline Valley to Panamint Springs. We stopped to talk to Father Crowley looking for flyin’ machines. He didn’t see none and neither did we, ‘cept on the poster sayin’ we should look for 'em.
We fed the mules and et some ground beef on a bun at Panamint Springs then went to camp at Emigrant. We learned some cowpoke wrote Ghostriders in the Sky while sittin’ right thar at a cabin near to that camp. As the sunset, we thought mebe we otta change our ways so’s we don’t turn into Ghostriders. We’ll do that after tomorrow.
Day 3
Up in the mornin’ and pack the Iron Mules for the final day. We ride down Emigrant Canyon dodgin’ burro bits. Thar's this here vast valley and the burros gotta drop their load in the road. It makes for potentule iron mule slippage. We was headin’ fer the Wild Rose Charcoal Kilns.
The last bit to the kilns was a mighty dusty road. Thar’s lots of them kilns some soul made near 150 years ago.
After countin’ the kilns and makin’ sure all 9’s still thar, we got on the iron mules and headed for Ballarat. Pardner’s mule wanted ole and we thought mebe thar’d be some.
https://photos.smugmug.com/photos/i-7mW7HS4/0/X2/i-7mW7HS4-X2.jpg
We met some other explorers using powered wagons. They told us not to worry ourselves about Mengel Pass 'cause the rocks on the trail is only 100 yards long and only on the downhill side. Made me feel real good. Turned out they was paintin’ a bit of a rosey picture.
The plan was Goler Wash to Mengel Pass.
Back home in Ar’zona, if’n thay calls it a wash, means it ain’t got no water in it. Turns out in Death Valley it means the opp’sit.
We hadn’t gone fer ‘tall when we had to chase two burros outa the way.
We came to a white dirt section with trails runnin’ ever which way. Had me right confused but pardner figger’d it out.
Then we found the rocks, but they wasn’t on the downhill side like we was told.
With some strugglin’ we made it up the rock section to Mengel Pass.
Thar's more doc'mentashun of our strugglin' in the movin' picture that's comin'.
We headed down from Mengel and found more rocks. Thar’s rocks on the up and the down and it weren’t jus’ 100 yards ‘twere half-mile o’ rocks.
Well we made it through with the iron mules and gear intact.
Next up was Striped Butte. This was a jus’ like I’s told. Looked like a giant caterpillar layin’ in the grass.
We left the striped butte and the mules was wantin’ back in the barn. They’s movin’ at a right good clip down the trail when I had me an accident. A rock juttin’ out on the side of the trail caught my left saddlebag right proper. It broke the latch and spilled the contents in the trail. I had to gather the goods 'n strap the saddlebag back together.
Our next short rest was at warm springs. Thar was a spring and the water wasn’t real cold.
Soon we was down in Badwater Basin on the West side. It was a long hot dusty ride (95 deg) North then across the mudflat to Furnace Creek. The feed station had 'spensive Iron Mule feed and ole for pardner’s mule, $$$.
With the mules rested and fed, we made a quick trip to Artist’s Pallet to see some green rocks and then into 20 Mule Team Canyon for some white rocks.
That's it. 3 Death Valley Days done. Back to Pahrump.
posted by Deseret, Cactus, & Texas @ 9:44 PM
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